I have been taking my measure as an applied self discipline coach and find that in matters of procrastination and social anxiety, the unachieved action or change that is sought only happens if it is tied to a major driver. By this I mean a motivator or source of inspiration that pushes you into action in spite of severe obstacles.

Many individuals have difficulty locating their main driver; but once it is uncovered, and is combined with passionate conviction, a person is thrown into action even when it is personally discomforting.

For the socially anxious, it is usually their own shyness that has to be overcome in order for a change to take place. Most shy people I know, myself included, want to reach out, want to speak up but are too constricted by some unknown force to do so.

An inner conflict is set up and the challenge is to rein in that part of the self that seeks comfort or isolation as a substitute for doing what feels hard.

Self discipline is called for but I am convinced this can only be activated if there is a strong motivator or driver present. Some of these drivers might be: love of approval, self respect, shame, anger, curiosity, threat of remorse and regret if don’t do x, to extirpate guilt for a past action, or failure to act and wanting to feel good and think well of one’s self.

“I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.” Montaigne.

This quote highlights a feature of these motives: they either are about doing something to avoid a condition or other consequences that one is eager to get rid of…guilt, remorse, etc. Or they are about gaining something…approval, self respect, etc.

It seems both kinds are legitimate; afterall, the important thing is their driving force. If they are like hunger or thirst the drive for satisfaction is intense. But more likely they lack this strength and must be supplemented by some catalyst like urgency due to a shortage of time, a suddenly available opportunity or the appropriate means to act.

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