Overcoming Your Fear of Disapproval

Fear of disapproval or negative evaluation by others underlies much social anxiety. It is a condition that delimits initiative and exacts a heavy cost for quality of life. Perhaps the worst result is that it leads to self abdication, or the surrendering of important needs and wants for the sake of safety and hiding out.
People with social anxiety have a chronic fear of being judged by others and this fear may interfere with work, school or other activities.
One of the main treatments now in vogue is cognitive-behavioral therapy. This approach has two components. The cognitive element helps people change thinking patterns that prevent them from overcoming their fears. One common belief, for example, is that others are harshly judgmental towards one’s behavior; this belief must be changed in order for fruitful relationships to be established.
The second behavioral element seeks to help people become more at ease with frightening situations. To do this, progressive desensitization techniques are used to bring about a gradual diminution of anxiety and better coping skills.
I am especially impressed with the approach that focuses on building up self trust as an antidote to fear of disapproval. (See Susan Jeffers, http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/index.cfm.) Self trust can be gained by caring for one’s body, ideas and relationships. And this is achieved in turn by accomplishing personal goals, obeying one’s own moral rules and living up to one’s ideals.
The self strengthening the results from these practices does wonders for reducing fears of how one is perceived by others.