We have noted the general notion that reluctance is derived from the idea of struggling against something. It expresses a disinclination to act, express or engage that is paralyzing in its effects.

Reluctance to confront partakes of that special fear that relates to a fear of how “the other” will respond to our opinions, intentions or behavior. The fear is that the other will respond with scorn, rejection or retribution which we won’t be able to handle. So there are really two fears: fear of the other as a source of threat; and fear that one’s self is defenseless against that threat.

Giving in to the reluctance to confront tends to prevent us from getting our needs met so that we are filled with remorse and regret for our seeming cowardice. Moving forward with acts of confrontation is anxiety producing. Hence we are faced with the choice of reaping the possible rewards of confrontation or instilling guilt in ourselves for avoiding our fears. The dilemma can best be resolved if are sure our fears do not induce delusions as by incrementally and carefully gaining feedback from the other about how our presentations will be received.